Tomisin Ojuade writes about her experience at our April 2019 Clarity Session. Date: Saturday 20th of April, Venue: University of Ibadan

I had the most amazing day yesterday with a bunch of pretty awesome people. We were just 9 in number but it was the most inspiring gathering I’ve been to this month. I know that means I should probably go out more 🤔
So here’s what I learned;
“Success” is not just a notion or a place or a thing as we tend to think. It’s more of a verb and not a noun. It is a progressive action. Something you do in succession ( there’s that word again succession). Success is the progressive realization of one’s dreams. Success is to keep hitting on a particular goal, not the end result (the end game or if you please – the hall of fame). Success I realized in the progressive stages of an effort, not the end goal. The end goal doesn’t define success, it’s the process that actually determines how successful a man is. In the world we live today, what you are able to achieve over time is measured by what you have materially and not who you are or even what you have.

Success is measured by the number of cars, houses, things (they must be damn expensive) you have. But it ought not to be. Success shouldn’t be defined by the end result target you got but by the progressive steps taken. To know a really successful person, listen to him, watch his actions, determine what he is made up of and not his physical possessions, not his charismatic and prolific jargons. A “madly” (EmDee’s word not mine, did you guys notice he uses that and ‘freaking’ a lot?🤓) successful guy is not necessarily the one with the biggest car – what if he stole or ‘borrowed’ it?🤷‍♀ It’s not the guy with the ‘poshest’ clothes or the one who speaks pure Queen’s English. It’s the guy whose life impacts others positively and not necessarily the ones he has met. (EmDee, you’re one of those guys, I was impacted by you without even meeting you. Mubarak, I’m proud of you – in your mother’s voice😜).

According to EmDee, “ if you know where you’re going, your journey is short. If you know how to get there, your journey is shorter. If you have people who will go there with you, your journey is the shortest ”
Here are some of the steps he listed for us;

  1. Clarity : have a clear goal. Don’t just drift along. Clarity is key to life. It’s a road map. Know where you’re going. Find yourself! “ until a woman finds herself, she’s going to destroy everything she finds ” – EmDee Tiamiyu. I used a woman because I am a woman – who man help?🤪 Clarity is king. You have to define your goals. Make a list if that’s what floats your boat but the general gist of the matter is to “find yourself!”. To be objective, make a list and put a picture with it(make a vision board) because as we all know our brain functions better with pictures. To find yourself, here are a few insightful questions;
  2. What am I good at?
    What do people say I’m good at? What really wakes me up in the morning? What can I never get tired of doing?
    Clarity makes you care about the process and not the end game. Clarity in essence makes you know what you’re doing. It gives you the spirit of doggedness alongside humility and gratitude. Yes, you worked hard for all you’ve earned yet it couldn’t have happened without God and friends. It, in short, gives you sense!
  3. Actions: have definite actions. Not necessary you write this one down after all you’re not a robot. Let your vision board (under clarity👆) drive the actions you engage in and the best way to do this is to; EVERYDAY – (1) learn something new, something in line with your written goals and your vision board (2) do something small. Something that takes you nearer to your goal. The journey of a thousand miles they say starts with a step. Take a step EVERYDAY!
  4. Circles: no longer is the word ‘ show me your friend and I’ll tell you who you are ’ relevant in our world. It is now ‘ show me your friends and I’ll tell you where you’re going’! The kind of circles you move in will determine your direction in life. If your friends are millionaires you will have no choice than to eventually become one too and if your friends are idiots? Dude! You’re going to be one too, its only a matter of time. Also, there are two major categories you should be aware of if you want to be successful;
    People who have your air and ear
    Airtime – people you call and the ones that call you. Their lives is definitely going to shape yours so if an idiot calls you my simple advice is ‘block the call’🤷‍♀
    Eartime – people who have your ears. The ones you listen to will definitely direct your steps in life so listen to people who will take you a step closer to your goals and not the ones whose sole goal in life is to drift along and be ‘a sha n jeun (we are eating)’.
    As every good teacher does, EmDee evaluated his teaching by giving us an assignment – as a teacher I know the value of evaluation and its significance.
  5. Write about A Day in My Life in 2035
  6. List your goals (at least 3)
  7. Make a vision board (print the pictures in colours).

Thanks, EmDee for the wonderful time, God bless you real good. So, guys, that’s what I learned – don’t blame me for the long essay. I did warn you that I am a teacher!